An Early Morning Memory

It's a once in  a blue moon early morning that I wake up hours before the alarm. I wrapped myself in two blankets and tried to get back to sleep.

Instead, I remember him.
He wrote a week back asking for a possible meet up at his place. I wanted to. But I was afraid to get back to that feeling we had on our last day. It was disturbing, painful and shameful. I wasn't ready for it and I don't think I ever will.
Thoughts of him lingered in my head longer despite of my struggle to fall back asleep.
Random thoughts of us and our brief time. Not the sweetest, but the only real thing I ever had after a while.

And then---

the ugliest memory of a morning. Feels like a dagger is left in the heart since then. I just wish to erase that morning in my memory.

In tears...

I finally stopped sobbing and lost consciousness. I had a short trip with him in my dream. It wasn't certain where we were going, but I remember the feeling as I curdled against his chest the whole time. He held my hand and so I hugged him.What's weird was that there was a shower in the car. We were all wet so I asked him to drive me home.

I woke up with a warm blanket. Same familiar warmth back when I was next to him.