An Early Morning Memory

It's a once in  a blue moon early morning that I wake up hours before the alarm. I wrapped myself in two blankets and tried to get back to sleep.

Instead, I remember him.
He wrote a week back asking for a possible meet up at his place. I wanted to. But I was afraid to get back to that feeling we had on our last day. It was disturbing, painful and shameful. I wasn't ready for it and I don't think I ever will.
Thoughts of him lingered in my head longer despite of my struggle to fall back asleep.
Random thoughts of us and our brief time. Not the sweetest, but the only real thing I ever had after a while.

And then---

the ugliest memory of a morning. Feels like a dagger is left in the heart since then. I just wish to erase that morning in my memory.

In tears...

I finally stopped sobbing and lost consciousness. I had a short trip with him in my dream. It wasn't certain where we were going, but I remember the feeling as I curdled against his chest the whole time. He held my hand and so I hugged him.What's weird was that there was a shower in the car. We were all wet so I asked him to drive me home.

I woke up with a warm blanket. Same familiar warmth back when I was next to him.

THE FALLEN LEAF

On a honeyed midsummer, coincidently

You caught a glimpse of my sun kissed dew

Hanging on a twig on a leaf- dropping tree

Your calm clear water stopped by to see

Serene, you gazed at me with a knightly grin

I responded with a smile so enchantingly prim

“Tis a lucky morn’ to see a yellow stellar

Hanging on a twig,- the prettiest fella

I giggled and esteemed a sugary grace

Abruptly, you smiled with a chasing gaze

As the daylight danced with the clouds on a race

“What a lovely reflection I have on your face!”

Delightedly, you whispered, “I wish you were here

In my arms as you rest in my quiet bath.”

And I wavered with the breeze as I try to turn back

When my heart skipped a beat and bowed in your track

Thus I finally let go of my core from the sprig

My face was lovelier as it reserves from the fig

T’was a warmest embrace; pulled me like gravity

Running chills in my veins as your eyes look at me

You held my hand tight and tossed me on a waltz

And your chest next to mine as our hearts resound

Swayed with the wind, our cheeks were with glee

As I inhale your exhale with no space to flee

“I could only care less of where your waters flow

Sweep me across peaks as the zephyr blows

Kindle the hours with your myriad of fables

As you slow me down like a babe in your cradle.”

I sealed my eyes before we softly kissed

Every inch we were scarce of air to breathe

Your gentle ripples was my bridal crest

Hearts on cages cannot be suppressed

Twas nearly the brightest dawn I have seen

‘Til the wind blew me through the logs on your flank

As you watch another leaf on its twig drop away

You showed me no face conscious of betray

I gloomily watched the blurring of the earth

Colder wind braced me short of its mirth

And as more of your current draw me past beyond

I knew I was just another fallen leaf -- after all.