It Seemed Just Right

If chance was a mistake, why was time in harmony?

If cupid made a crooked shoot, why did he let it be?

If secrets can injure, which spot did it bleed?

If hearts were captives, will they ever be freed?

 

If touch was peril, which spot was secure?

And if a kiss venom, which pill could have cured?

If yearning was crime, then how about hunger?

When trouble of mind is mended when it’s fonder

 

If desires were throes, then what is to live?

And if a wish heroin, can a tonic moderate?

If delight is larceny, which sentiment is a bail?

If absence is relief, why does it make us frail?

 

If you and I were not suppose to be here- why do all good things dwell-like it risked the past and the future-for US to exist.

Uncertain

"You wouldn't notice something is missing, unless somebody comes along and fills your cup"

This tagalog movie line slapped me in the face. I also knew it's true. But hearin' it from somebody else is more bothering.

Today's prayer was of a chance to do things right.

I am hoping things will be ok soon.

Capture to Express Not to Impress

"Perfect shots almost make me believe that the celebrity is indeed enchanting. But it never convinced me that he/she uses the same product advertised. Behind the cheerful smile of Kris Aquino in her pasta commercial is a good pay. And so are the rest."

I dream to have the hobby photography. I am a fan of how photographs keeps the smiles, friendship, love, and fun in different scenes.

On a training on photo journalism I attended years ago, I have learned that the most beautiful pictures are those that are taken naturally. I mean, those which subjects project the natural scene. Children chasing each other on a patintero game, students on a rush at the canteen on recess, butterfly landing on a flower, etc.

Indeed these kind of pictures possess not only the wonder of its subject, but lets the viewer feel the joy, sorrow, serenity,love as the subjects feel as the picture is captured.

I believe the most beautiful pictures are unplanned. They are those who touches the heart, and relates to the emotions.

What annoys me is the current trend of picture taking, "Say Cheese", "Profile Pic" "Moment". Pictures choreographed for the sake of posting them into social networking sites and letting the world know-"Hey! we are having fun", "Hey! What good friendship we have", "Hey! I got this fantastic experience".

These type of pictures does not impress me at all. It annoys me to the bones.

Quite ironic how I have to go with the flow at times. I pose at pictures with some friends, whom I know poses are choreographed-all for the sake of pakikisama.

 None of these gave me real cheer. In fact, it gave me that pretentious feeling-a little shame in the bucket.

There are a very few pose pictures which contains emotions. The rest are choreographed. In this case, pictures at times may have kept the location and time, but not the memories. One may have 5thousand pictures, but maybe just a hundred are captured for real.

How social media has changed the value of pictures is a sad thing, really.

Friendship Has Changed Through Time

"KATNISS: " How do you make people like you?"
CINNA: "You don't. You simply have to be yourself.
Haymitch: "All they want is a good show."

The above lines is my fb status tonight. It is what is in my thoughts and in my heart. Another colleague uttered today, "Share it with your friends". "I don't have friends.", I responded in a joke. But I believe jokes are always half- meant. In my case, it's true.

During my elementary years, I had a bestfriend. Her name was Jennifer. We were classmates I think since grade 1. Then on the fourth grade, I remember ow I became friends with other class mates. Eventually, she was lost on the scene- for reasons I can't identify. We used to be so close. We were like sisters. We make every day a present day as we exchange things we personally have like head band, pencil, paper, hair clip, comb, hanky. When I remember how we wrap each in a piece of paper and write the dedication "To My Bestfriend- I Love You"- that childish thought got me teary eyed. When I remember the friendship we had- it was the most beautiful;the happiest. Perhaps our friendship was bonded by those little give and takes of "fancy gifts" we hand each other. It's sad how it was changed by time and distance. I am to be blamed partly-I put the other half of the blame on her. When I remember-I still smile and admire that friendship.

 During fourth grade until grade 6, I was a friend to a group of classmates. Each one of them very nice to me. I remember how friends get jealous that time. We use to have petty fights over whose attention was won by whom. It was very different from the first friendship I have known. It was fun, and at the same time- it was  competition of who impresses whom; who joins who for recess, who becomes an ally of who in tingganyuhanay; who cares for who when a project seems not to beat the deadline. It was like that. The group I was with were Hernalyn, Rose Ann, Ma. Luz. I missed them all. Our friendship was fun and exciting! I still remember how it feels when I get to be with them every day.

My high school life drew me into a school a little far from Pulupandan, setting my friends aside as I become busy with school works. I met a best friend during my first year. We clicked for petty reasons; we both laugh at very mild jokes; we love reviewing, especially days before the exam; we both have secret crushes; we love to eat; we sing; There was a time we even joined "lagsanay". We were happy. And there was nothing of how I felt that I kept secret to her. We share even the most weird of how we are-and we simply understood.
We walk in the corridors holding hands-pretty odd.

So my heart lamented when she left  for a change of residence during our 4th year. I could'nt find a single buddy. And so involved myself in friendship with a group of kind and witty friends. The SHEMAP, Avon, Jiff Mark, Jinggoy, Jarbie,etc. Mga kalog, pero matitino-nag-aaral din:) And so I recovered the distance from a bestfriend through these friends. They never left me alone. I was never solo flight on any thing. One of them would always be there. It was a happy feeling na makipagkulitan at makipagharutan kahit sa mga bagay na akala mo walang kwenta. Asaran na walang kwenta na nauuwi sa tawa (Jinggoy) I was so blessed and lucky.

When I went to College, I had Shela and Robele as my closest friends. We had identical preferences. Which karinderya to eat; Which tambayan to chit-chat; Which class mate/school mate to talk about; We all loved to review and study; and I guess all grade conscious?.:) We were happy.  The joys they brought me remained in the heart. Not so much of the give and take. Kasi pare-pareho ng trip. In the same manner, walang mga boyfriend:)

So friendship sprouted-it was not created. Friends come as a hug from God. Too much effort is not required. If true friends are around, the laughter simply bursts, topics come up in a sudden. Receiving and Giving are never thought of as responsibilities -but done out of the magic of friendship.Friendship is magical-it's coincidence.It simply happens.

Today, it is sad that I don't see a spark of friendship around. Might have been due to the influence of social media to the minds of people. Friendship has lost its magic. It was replaced by social responsibility. If you impressed me, you are my friend. Tomorrow if you fail me- look for another companion.

Heartbreaking.


The common denominator of friendship is gone. Parang wala yatang kapareho ko dito. The enormous adjustment is just unbelievable. Too much social obligation; you do this; you be here; you hang out with us; you stay. It use to be ill do this; ill hang out; ill stay; let's chat.

Walang spark. I never felt that I jived with the group I am with now. The magic of friendship is missing. Or perhaps, I'd have to dance with the changes of time.

Regardless, I will not change myself for friendship to happen. I still believe it will be magical, when the right people come.


MaJessT