How reassuring it is to trust that such disguise will put an end to self-disappointment. How comforting it is to realize that the decent face of beginnings offers peace of mind.
Indeed, it is this novel beginning that should give an impulse to start climbing the ladder again- one careful step at time. Just like how a child gets up when he tumbles down, wanting to walk farther.
How beautiful it is if beginnings don't really bring pain. But it does.
I have been in an unstable state of career for almost a year now. I know, not a good timing for someone like me who has to be minded of the running time. I do not have a miserable state-but I am in this pace of my life when everything just seem to stop working for me.
It feels like I am standing on the same ground at a busy street. And I wanted to keep going but I have no clear vision of a destination. My only option is to be still.
And so I was still. I was typing this post and as I realize my state, I broke down into tears and felt very weak. I immediately uttered this line like some divine power whispered it to me, “I am still. I know you are God”. I covered my face with my hands as if I am ashamed of being so helpless. I few minutes after, I felt better.
So I searched it on Google and found a very comforting scripture.
This psalm encourages us to hope and
trust in God, and his power, and providence, and gracious presence with his
church in the worst of times, and directs us to give him the glory of what he
has done for us and what he will do.
I just felt that my anxiety has become
lighter. Perhaps I should trust HIM more and put HIS NAME above all else. At least a brighter light for today.
Calmed.
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